The Royale
Okay, this is a weird one.
“The Royale” is not a good episode of TNG. But it definitely takes the cake as one of the strangest. Some of the imagery reminds me of David Lynch (well, it reminds me of what little David Lynch I’ve watched. Look, I hate David Lynch. Come at me), the dialogue is straight out of a high-school play about mobsters, and the resolution is just bizarre. But I can’t bring myself to hate it. It may be bad, but it’s unique and it’s fun, and every once in a while, that’s enough.
A Klingon ship drops a dime to the Enterprise that they picked up some strange space garbage around a planet, so Picard and company go zipping off to check it out. When they arrive at the planet, there’s a lot of effort made to clarify that this is one of the most inhospitable planets that Geordi’s ever seen. However, a few minutes later, O’Brien beams a hunk of metal aboard emblazoned with the NASA logo, and Wesley finds a building surrounded in a bubble of breathable air on the surface. This is all strange enough that Picard somehow approves Riker, Worf, and Data to head on down to this bubble to find out what’s up.
The trio materialize in a black void, with raging ammonia storms a kilometer overhead. The only other thing they can see is a free-standing revolving door, spinning calmly in the midst of nothing. They can’t see the building, or detect anything unusual, but they decide to go through the door. Upon entry, they find themselves in a seedy 20th century hotel-casino, and smoky noir saxophone on the soundtrack immediately sets the tone. Every interaction they have, from the hotel manager to the observed argument about a bellboy being in love with a mobster’s girlfriend, is pulled from a cut-rate soap opera, one that’s jamming in a Mafia storyline to perk up a mid-season ratings slump. After a few minutes, Riker decides that it’s time to dip, but when they try to leave, the revolving door just spits them back into the lobby.
After some fruitless efforts to escape, Data detects human DNA on the second floor, and they discover a mummified corpse in a hotel room. In addition, they find a pair of books: A noir novel called Hotel Royale, and a diary packed full of exposition. Apparently, in the 21st century, some aliens decided to pay a visit to a NASA exploratory vessel, and accidentally murdered all but one of the crew while trying to say hello. Feeling guilty, they transported Colonel Ritchey to this world, and created a simulation to make him feel at home. Unfortunately for him, they only had this noir novel to go on, and “Hotel Royale” apparently SUCKS. (In my favorite possible cover blurb for a novel ever, Ritchey’s last entry reads, “I do not bear animosity to my benefactors. But they could not have known that it was such a badly written book… I shall welcome death when it comes.” Zing.)
Look, the reality is that this is effectively a holodeck episode that takes place somewhere other than the holodeck, and that’s not a good thing. In the course of this series, the holodeck was often used for some lazy storytelling, and this skirts dangerously close to that line. What saves it is the really clever choice to make “Hotel Royale” an awful book. “Away team trapped in a world based on a book has to play along to effect their escape,” is a workable plot, but making the book they’re involved with a steaming pile of literary shit makes it a bit more fun. Picard reads the entire thing to help the away team escape, and Stewart’s pained expression when he realizes the book actually starts with, “It was a dark and stormy night,” is a thing of beauty.
They figure out that the book refers to foreign investors who come in, buy the hotel, and leave, and so Data hits the craps tables with the handful of comped chips provided to them. He rigs the dice by squeezing them (I know), and wins the millions needed to buy the hotel and escape this strange fantasy world. This scene shouldn’t work (Data, apropos of nothing, announces, “Daddy needs a new pair of shoes,” before hurling the dice), but it’s also the point in the episode where everyone involved shrugs their shoulders, says, “Fuck it,” and starts having way too much fun. Riker’s grinning and buying drinks for everyone, Data keeps doing bizarre little dances as he throws six after six, and Worf… well, it’s Worf. He stands there looking annoyed. Worf keeps his shit in check.
The button to the episode has Riker in Picard’s ready room, saying, “None of it makes any sense,” in one of the rare times that this show has ever gone meta. This episode is bizarre, and unlike anything else the show has done so far (or after, as best I can remember). It doesn’t really work, per se, but it’s so different that I found myself laughing and enjoying it despite myself. I don’t think I’d ever watch a show that regularly featured episodes like The Royale, but what the hell. Data got to bankrupt a sexist Texan stereotype. Hell yeah.
A few other thoughts:
“The Royale” is not a good episode of TNG. But it definitely takes the cake as one of the strangest. Some of the imagery reminds me of David Lynch (well, it reminds me of what little David Lynch I’ve watched. Look, I hate David Lynch. Come at me), the dialogue is straight out of a high-school play about mobsters, and the resolution is just bizarre. But I can’t bring myself to hate it. It may be bad, but it’s unique and it’s fun, and every once in a while, that’s enough.
A Klingon ship drops a dime to the Enterprise that they picked up some strange space garbage around a planet, so Picard and company go zipping off to check it out. When they arrive at the planet, there’s a lot of effort made to clarify that this is one of the most inhospitable planets that Geordi’s ever seen. However, a few minutes later, O’Brien beams a hunk of metal aboard emblazoned with the NASA logo, and Wesley finds a building surrounded in a bubble of breathable air on the surface. This is all strange enough that Picard somehow approves Riker, Worf, and Data to head on down to this bubble to find out what’s up.
The trio materialize in a black void, with raging ammonia storms a kilometer overhead. The only other thing they can see is a free-standing revolving door, spinning calmly in the midst of nothing. They can’t see the building, or detect anything unusual, but they decide to go through the door. Upon entry, they find themselves in a seedy 20th century hotel-casino, and smoky noir saxophone on the soundtrack immediately sets the tone. Every interaction they have, from the hotel manager to the observed argument about a bellboy being in love with a mobster’s girlfriend, is pulled from a cut-rate soap opera, one that’s jamming in a Mafia storyline to perk up a mid-season ratings slump. After a few minutes, Riker decides that it’s time to dip, but when they try to leave, the revolving door just spits them back into the lobby.
After some fruitless efforts to escape, Data detects human DNA on the second floor, and they discover a mummified corpse in a hotel room. In addition, they find a pair of books: A noir novel called Hotel Royale, and a diary packed full of exposition. Apparently, in the 21st century, some aliens decided to pay a visit to a NASA exploratory vessel, and accidentally murdered all but one of the crew while trying to say hello. Feeling guilty, they transported Colonel Ritchey to this world, and created a simulation to make him feel at home. Unfortunately for him, they only had this noir novel to go on, and “Hotel Royale” apparently SUCKS. (In my favorite possible cover blurb for a novel ever, Ritchey’s last entry reads, “I do not bear animosity to my benefactors. But they could not have known that it was such a badly written book… I shall welcome death when it comes.” Zing.)
Look, the reality is that this is effectively a holodeck episode that takes place somewhere other than the holodeck, and that’s not a good thing. In the course of this series, the holodeck was often used for some lazy storytelling, and this skirts dangerously close to that line. What saves it is the really clever choice to make “Hotel Royale” an awful book. “Away team trapped in a world based on a book has to play along to effect their escape,” is a workable plot, but making the book they’re involved with a steaming pile of literary shit makes it a bit more fun. Picard reads the entire thing to help the away team escape, and Stewart’s pained expression when he realizes the book actually starts with, “It was a dark and stormy night,” is a thing of beauty.
They figure out that the book refers to foreign investors who come in, buy the hotel, and leave, and so Data hits the craps tables with the handful of comped chips provided to them. He rigs the dice by squeezing them (I know), and wins the millions needed to buy the hotel and escape this strange fantasy world. This scene shouldn’t work (Data, apropos of nothing, announces, “Daddy needs a new pair of shoes,” before hurling the dice), but it’s also the point in the episode where everyone involved shrugs their shoulders, says, “Fuck it,” and starts having way too much fun. Riker’s grinning and buying drinks for everyone, Data keeps doing bizarre little dances as he throws six after six, and Worf… well, it’s Worf. He stands there looking annoyed. Worf keeps his shit in check.
The button to the episode has Riker in Picard’s ready room, saying, “None of it makes any sense,” in one of the rare times that this show has ever gone meta. This episode is bizarre, and unlike anything else the show has done so far (or after, as best I can remember). It doesn’t really work, per se, but it’s so different that I found myself laughing and enjoying it despite myself. I don’t think I’d ever watch a show that regularly featured episodes like The Royale, but what the hell. Data got to bankrupt a sexist Texan stereotype. Hell yeah.
A few other thoughts:
- I mentioned the Texan at the end, a walking cliche who spends the bulk of the episode trying to hit on a 20-year-old woman who squeaks out dialogue designed to show the viewer that she’s a gorgeous airhead. It starts out lame, but definitely drifts into uncomfortable territory as he keeps touching her and leering at her in a very aggressive manner. Wasn’t a fan of that.
- Pulaski and Geordi’s rescue plan: “We’re going to collapse the bubble and hope we can get you back on board before the -200 degree ammonia storms murder you in seconds.” Riker’s response: “Uh, how about we just cheat our way free, you psychopaths?”
- When the away team realize they’re trapped and can’t get out, Riker and Data both start asking people where another exit might be like normal rational people. Worf shoves over a slot machine and phasers a wall. I prefer Worf’s approach.
Time Squared
There was a lot of surprise when the new Star Trek series Discovery announced that the main character would not be the captain of the ship. After all, these are shows that have been defined by the man or woman sitting in the big chair, and TNG wasted no time setting that expectation. In the pilot episode, Q was putting humanity on trial, but the show eagerly placed Jean-Luc Picard front and center, with the unspoken argument being that he was the personification of this idealized future that Roddenberry espoused. Since then, the show has taken great pains to demonstrate that this man is brilliant, insightful, cultured, kind, and a big fan of Earl Grey, and at this point in the series, Picard is more fleshed out and defined than any other character. “Time Squared” works because we know who Picard is, and that gives the writers the chance to explore his reactions under extremely challenging circumstances.
The episode opens with Riker hosting an omelette party in his quarters. It’s a cold open that has nothing whatsoever to do with the rest of the episode, but it’s pretty entertaining. Riker cooks some strange alien bird eggs while espousing the value of cooking manually rather than using the replicator. The eggs are apparently terrible, but Worf digs the hell out of them. Riker’s called away to the bridge by Picard while Worf is scarfing down everyone’s portion, because they’ve picked up a distress signal. It’s from a Federation shuttlecraft, despite the fact that there aren’t any other warp capable ships in the area. That’s strange. They pull it aboard, and discover that it’s one of the shuttles that belongs to the USS Enterprise. That’s stranger. That shuttle, the El-Baz, is still aboard the ship, meaning that they now have two identical copies of this shuttle. This all feeds into a sense of wrongness that provides a great lead up to the reveal of the person passed out in the pilot’s chair: Jean-Luc Picard.
Riker immediately calls up and asks Picard if he’s still on the bridge, a confusing question to the captain, who immediately runs down to the shuttlebay to see his unconscious doppleganger. Pulaski quickly confirms that he’s alive, and after taking Picard-2 to sickbay, discovers several odd things. First, it’s definitely, 100% Picard. Identical in every way. Second, when she gives Picard-2 a stimulant to try to wake him, his vitals crash, as if she’s pumped a sedative into his system. She stabilizes him, and starts trying to figure out what’s going on.
While Pulaski and Picard are investigating the doppleganger, Geordi and Data are trying to figure out what’s up with this shuttlecraft. It’s completely drained of power, and when they try to recharge it from the Enterprise’s systems, it nearly fries the shuttle’s computer. After some experimenting, they figure out how to recharge the computer, and gain access of the visual records. This exposition dump reveals several things. First, the shuttle and Picard-2 are from six hours in the future. Second, at some point in the next few hours, the Enterprise will become trapped by some spatial rift. Finally, Picard will abandon the Enterprise on the shuttle just in time to watch his ship and over 1000 crew die as the Enterprise explodes.
This is a fairly solid sci-fi mystery, but what really sells it is Picard’s reaction. He’s immediately furious, a cold, simmering anger that leaves him spitting out dialogue and seething at Picard-2’s unconscious form. At no point does the show have Troi spell out, “He’s angry because he never thought he’d be the type to abandon his ship when it’s in danger,” because it’s not necessary. We know Picard, we know the type of captain we think he is, and more importantly, the type of captain he thinks he is. But this insensate future Picard puts the lie to that belief. The Enterprise will be in trouble, and he’s going to get on a shuttle and survive when everyone else dies. It’s not a question of if it actually happened, because it will happen.
There’s a bit of interesting debate about whether they should change course, come to a full stop, or continue on their course, and the fact that they have no idea whether any of those options will help avoid this fate. However, the plot moves along briskly, and a few hours later, the promised spatial rift appears below them and begins dragging the Enterprise in. They can hold position only by gunning the engines as hard as they can, and Troi begins sensing intent from within the rift. Initially, she says that whatever it is wants the Enterprise, but after a few moments, it focuses. This presence wants Picard.
This scene on the bridge is chaotic. Geordi is yelling that they can’t hold the engines much longer, Riker’s trying to debate with Picard, and everything is clicking in place for the captain. If the consciousness within the rift wants him, then leaving the ship might be the only way to save the ship. Pulaski contacts him to tell him that Picard-2 is awake, and when Picard confronts him, his duplicate is disoriented, but obsessed with getting off the ship to save them. The two walk down the passageway, Picard pelting his doppleganger with questions, trying to understand what’s happening as the ship lurches and groans around them. Picard’s argument is simple: Leaving the ship to satisfy the entity makes sense, except for the simple fact that they’ve seen that it won’t work. If Picard leaves the ship, the Enterprise is still destroyed, and the loop happens all over. Picard-2 isn’t listening, though. He’s completely focused on his task of getting away from the Enterprise. When he starts to board the shuttle, Picard realizes that he can’t let him leave. If Picard-2 leaves, he initiates the same reaction they saw on the shuttle log, which resulted in the destruction of the Enterprise, this Enterprise. Upon realizing this, Picard doesn’t hesitate. He grabs a phaser and kills his duplicate.
It’s a stunning moment. There’s no hesitation or regret in Picard’s action. He guns down his copy, and there’s no attempt to stun or wound him. Picard realizes what needs to happen, and does what he has to in order to make sure. He orders Riker to take the Enterprise directly into the rift, and the ship, no longer fighting the pull, passes through and emerges on the other side. The duplicate shuttle and Picard-2’s corpse vanish, and the ship lives to answer distress calls another day.
Look, this ending is a bit abrupt, and a bit too tidy for my taste. We never find out what the spatial rift was, or what it actually wanted. It’s there until the plot doesn’t need it to be there anymore, and then it’s gone. That’s not particularly good storytelling. But this story really isn’t about the mystery of the rift. It’s about this captain, a man who we’ve come to know very well over the season and a half of episodes. When people talk about Picard as a character, they reference his focus, his compassion, the fact that he’s the more cerebral captain of the franchise. This episode isn’t about distress calls, or spatial rifts, or even the fact that Worf likes terrible eggs. This episode is about teaching us one more thing about our captain: When push comes to shove, he’s ruthless.
A few other thoughts:
- Dietrich Stogner
The episode opens with Riker hosting an omelette party in his quarters. It’s a cold open that has nothing whatsoever to do with the rest of the episode, but it’s pretty entertaining. Riker cooks some strange alien bird eggs while espousing the value of cooking manually rather than using the replicator. The eggs are apparently terrible, but Worf digs the hell out of them. Riker’s called away to the bridge by Picard while Worf is scarfing down everyone’s portion, because they’ve picked up a distress signal. It’s from a Federation shuttlecraft, despite the fact that there aren’t any other warp capable ships in the area. That’s strange. They pull it aboard, and discover that it’s one of the shuttles that belongs to the USS Enterprise. That’s stranger. That shuttle, the El-Baz, is still aboard the ship, meaning that they now have two identical copies of this shuttle. This all feeds into a sense of wrongness that provides a great lead up to the reveal of the person passed out in the pilot’s chair: Jean-Luc Picard.
Riker immediately calls up and asks Picard if he’s still on the bridge, a confusing question to the captain, who immediately runs down to the shuttlebay to see his unconscious doppleganger. Pulaski quickly confirms that he’s alive, and after taking Picard-2 to sickbay, discovers several odd things. First, it’s definitely, 100% Picard. Identical in every way. Second, when she gives Picard-2 a stimulant to try to wake him, his vitals crash, as if she’s pumped a sedative into his system. She stabilizes him, and starts trying to figure out what’s going on.
While Pulaski and Picard are investigating the doppleganger, Geordi and Data are trying to figure out what’s up with this shuttlecraft. It’s completely drained of power, and when they try to recharge it from the Enterprise’s systems, it nearly fries the shuttle’s computer. After some experimenting, they figure out how to recharge the computer, and gain access of the visual records. This exposition dump reveals several things. First, the shuttle and Picard-2 are from six hours in the future. Second, at some point in the next few hours, the Enterprise will become trapped by some spatial rift. Finally, Picard will abandon the Enterprise on the shuttle just in time to watch his ship and over 1000 crew die as the Enterprise explodes.
This is a fairly solid sci-fi mystery, but what really sells it is Picard’s reaction. He’s immediately furious, a cold, simmering anger that leaves him spitting out dialogue and seething at Picard-2’s unconscious form. At no point does the show have Troi spell out, “He’s angry because he never thought he’d be the type to abandon his ship when it’s in danger,” because it’s not necessary. We know Picard, we know the type of captain we think he is, and more importantly, the type of captain he thinks he is. But this insensate future Picard puts the lie to that belief. The Enterprise will be in trouble, and he’s going to get on a shuttle and survive when everyone else dies. It’s not a question of if it actually happened, because it will happen.
There’s a bit of interesting debate about whether they should change course, come to a full stop, or continue on their course, and the fact that they have no idea whether any of those options will help avoid this fate. However, the plot moves along briskly, and a few hours later, the promised spatial rift appears below them and begins dragging the Enterprise in. They can hold position only by gunning the engines as hard as they can, and Troi begins sensing intent from within the rift. Initially, she says that whatever it is wants the Enterprise, but after a few moments, it focuses. This presence wants Picard.
This scene on the bridge is chaotic. Geordi is yelling that they can’t hold the engines much longer, Riker’s trying to debate with Picard, and everything is clicking in place for the captain. If the consciousness within the rift wants him, then leaving the ship might be the only way to save the ship. Pulaski contacts him to tell him that Picard-2 is awake, and when Picard confronts him, his duplicate is disoriented, but obsessed with getting off the ship to save them. The two walk down the passageway, Picard pelting his doppleganger with questions, trying to understand what’s happening as the ship lurches and groans around them. Picard’s argument is simple: Leaving the ship to satisfy the entity makes sense, except for the simple fact that they’ve seen that it won’t work. If Picard leaves the ship, the Enterprise is still destroyed, and the loop happens all over. Picard-2 isn’t listening, though. He’s completely focused on his task of getting away from the Enterprise. When he starts to board the shuttle, Picard realizes that he can’t let him leave. If Picard-2 leaves, he initiates the same reaction they saw on the shuttle log, which resulted in the destruction of the Enterprise, this Enterprise. Upon realizing this, Picard doesn’t hesitate. He grabs a phaser and kills his duplicate.
It’s a stunning moment. There’s no hesitation or regret in Picard’s action. He guns down his copy, and there’s no attempt to stun or wound him. Picard realizes what needs to happen, and does what he has to in order to make sure. He orders Riker to take the Enterprise directly into the rift, and the ship, no longer fighting the pull, passes through and emerges on the other side. The duplicate shuttle and Picard-2’s corpse vanish, and the ship lives to answer distress calls another day.
Look, this ending is a bit abrupt, and a bit too tidy for my taste. We never find out what the spatial rift was, or what it actually wanted. It’s there until the plot doesn’t need it to be there anymore, and then it’s gone. That’s not particularly good storytelling. But this story really isn’t about the mystery of the rift. It’s about this captain, a man who we’ve come to know very well over the season and a half of episodes. When people talk about Picard as a character, they reference his focus, his compassion, the fact that he’s the more cerebral captain of the franchise. This episode isn’t about distress calls, or spatial rifts, or even the fact that Worf likes terrible eggs. This episode is about teaching us one more thing about our captain: When push comes to shove, he’s ruthless.
A few other thoughts:
- There’s a brief discussion between Troi and Pulaski about whether Picard is still fit for command, considering the stress of meeting his twin who might be a coward. It’s not a great scene, but does introduce the fact that the chief medical officer apparently has the right to relieve the captain of duty if she thinks he’s not fit. That seems easily abusable.
- Stewart’s performance in this episode is great, but the rest of the cast do a hell of a job reacting to the video logs from the shuttle. There’s a sense of betrayal and confusion that underlies everything they do, and the way Riker in particular talks to Picard after that has a totally different tone.
- I can’t call this a great episode, mostly because of the sloppy structure of the ending. But I think it’s one of the first episodes that shows how much easier it is to write for established characters, and introduces a lot of character elements that will become important later.
- Dietrich Stogner
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