I despise Lwaxana Troi.
It’s not Majel Barrett’s performance, which I think is, at worst, adequate. It’s the very concept, the way this character was written from her first appearance in the episode "Haven". Hey, guess what: Troi has a mom. She’s loud, offensive, inconsiderate, shrill, and believes that everyone wants to have sex with her. She shows up, ignores anything people are saying to her, and spends the entire time making everyone wildly uncomfortable. But the worst offense that Lwaxana Troi commits in this episode? She’s completely meaningless to the plot.
The Enterprise is at a planet named Haven, which is supposedly one of the most perfect and beautiful planets in the galaxy. While there, Deanna finds out that an arranged marriage set up when she was a child is being invoked, and before everyone can cluck their tongues at how barbaric arranged marriages are, her soon-to-be husband Wyatt Miller and his parents are on board. Unfortunately, Wyatt’s not stoked about marrying Deanna either. He’s had fantasies and dreams his entire life about a blonde woman with 80s hair, and expected Deanna to be this dream girl. Still, they’re both adults, and they recognize the importance to both of their families that they get married.
At the same time, the Enterprise has detected a Tarellian ship slowly cruising towards Haven. This is a big problem, as the Tarellians nearly exterminated themselves years ago with bioweapons, and if they land on a planet, the population is quickly infected with a lethal disease. Needless to say, they’re not usually on the guest list. The Enterprise grabs the Tarellian ship with the tractor beam, and when they establish communications, who should be standing on the death ship but Wyatt’s dream girl. There’s not really a clear cut explanation as to why he’s been seeing her, but true love will not be denied, and before anyone can stop him, Wyatt beams over to the Tarellian ship, effectively exiling himself in exchange for life with his fantasy date. The Enterprise warps away, leaving Deanna Troi safely single and ready to mingle.
Did you notice that I mentioned Lwaxana not a single time in that entire synopsis? She’s pointless, there to infuse the episode with awkward moments and uncomfortable encounters. It’s sloppy writing, feeling like an attempt to make the episode funny, something that this cast is not really capable of pulling off right now. Lwaxana is so loud and brash that she drowns out the rest of the story, leaving anything interesting in this plot completely unmemorable.
Cringe-worthy characters are definitely doable in television. Look at the masterful job that the American version of The Office did with Dwight Schrute. Dwight is built from the ground up to bash against his co-workers. But the writers of The Office made sure to give him moments of humanity, and when he was kind or considerate, it’s made clear that the more objectionable aspects of his personality are part of a bigger, richer character portrait. Contrast that with Lwaxana Troi. The writers made no effort to make her seem like a person with depth. She’s there to annoy, and for you to snicker at, and that’s it. It’s lazy writing, and leaves a bad taste in your mouth.
Thank goodness she never shows up again. Five times. And twice in Deep Space Nine.
It’s not Majel Barrett’s performance, which I think is, at worst, adequate. It’s the very concept, the way this character was written from her first appearance in the episode "Haven". Hey, guess what: Troi has a mom. She’s loud, offensive, inconsiderate, shrill, and believes that everyone wants to have sex with her. She shows up, ignores anything people are saying to her, and spends the entire time making everyone wildly uncomfortable. But the worst offense that Lwaxana Troi commits in this episode? She’s completely meaningless to the plot.
The Enterprise is at a planet named Haven, which is supposedly one of the most perfect and beautiful planets in the galaxy. While there, Deanna finds out that an arranged marriage set up when she was a child is being invoked, and before everyone can cluck their tongues at how barbaric arranged marriages are, her soon-to-be husband Wyatt Miller and his parents are on board. Unfortunately, Wyatt’s not stoked about marrying Deanna either. He’s had fantasies and dreams his entire life about a blonde woman with 80s hair, and expected Deanna to be this dream girl. Still, they’re both adults, and they recognize the importance to both of their families that they get married.
At the same time, the Enterprise has detected a Tarellian ship slowly cruising towards Haven. This is a big problem, as the Tarellians nearly exterminated themselves years ago with bioweapons, and if they land on a planet, the population is quickly infected with a lethal disease. Needless to say, they’re not usually on the guest list. The Enterprise grabs the Tarellian ship with the tractor beam, and when they establish communications, who should be standing on the death ship but Wyatt’s dream girl. There’s not really a clear cut explanation as to why he’s been seeing her, but true love will not be denied, and before anyone can stop him, Wyatt beams over to the Tarellian ship, effectively exiling himself in exchange for life with his fantasy date. The Enterprise warps away, leaving Deanna Troi safely single and ready to mingle.
Did you notice that I mentioned Lwaxana not a single time in that entire synopsis? She’s pointless, there to infuse the episode with awkward moments and uncomfortable encounters. It’s sloppy writing, feeling like an attempt to make the episode funny, something that this cast is not really capable of pulling off right now. Lwaxana is so loud and brash that she drowns out the rest of the story, leaving anything interesting in this plot completely unmemorable.
Cringe-worthy characters are definitely doable in television. Look at the masterful job that the American version of The Office did with Dwight Schrute. Dwight is built from the ground up to bash against his co-workers. But the writers of The Office made sure to give him moments of humanity, and when he was kind or considerate, it’s made clear that the more objectionable aspects of his personality are part of a bigger, richer character portrait. Contrast that with Lwaxana Troi. The writers made no effort to make her seem like a person with depth. She’s there to annoy, and for you to snicker at, and that’s it. It’s lazy writing, and leaves a bad taste in your mouth.
Thank goodness she never shows up again. Five times. And twice in Deep Space Nine.
"The Big Goodbye" is, thankfully, a bit more fun. It’s not a great episode by any means, and introduces one of my least favorite plot devices in TNG: The malfunctioning holodeck. But it’s a simple, if somewhat silly, story, and for the most part, it works.
The holodeck has been featured on some earlier episodes, but so far, it’s been limited to a creek for Wesley to fall into, and a martial arts training partner for Yar to throw around. "The Big Goodbye" is the first time that we’ve seen walking, talking people created by the holodeck, and it really did strike me on this viewing how oddly creepy that concept is. With the press of a button, you create a person that can talk to you, interact with you, and seems sentient in every way. With the next press of a button, you consign them to oblivion. Near the end of an episode, a holodeck creation asks Picard, “Will I still exist when you leave?” Argue all you want about whether they would qualify as alive, but if someone is asking you an existential question like that, it’s worth taking a moment to consider before smacking that off switch.
Picard is stressed, people. He’s got to study for an upcoming grammar quiz with a race called the Jaradan, and if he makes a single mistake, they’ll… do something? (It’s never made clear, although there’s a hint that the last ship that fucked up a dangling participle with the Jaradan got destroyed. Seems a bit harsh.) Troi tells him he needs a break, so it’s off to the magic wish room to play dress-up and pretend to be a character from a Raymond Chandler knockoff. He’s only there for a few minutes the first time, but he’s so wowed by the holodeck, that he actually calls a full briefing of the senior staff to rave about it. He can’t wait to get back (don’t you have studying to do, Captain?), and this time, he’s bringing Beverly, Data, and Lt. Von Redshirt, the ship’s 20th century history specialist, because of course the Enterprise has one of those.
Things are suitably wacky (oh, weren’t humans QUAINT), and everyone’s having a ball, but the Jaradan grammar Nazis show up and ruin everything. They scan the ship, and this causes the holodeck to malfunction. The door won’t open, they can’t turn it off, the safety features are disabled, and Wesley says that if he clips the wrong wire, everyone in the holodeck will die. (I have to take a moment to express how ridiculously dumb this is based on any logical scenario. Also, did the 24th century forget about circuit breakers? Just cut the power to the stupid thing. I’m beginning to think the designer of the holodeck was either stunningly incompetent or psychotically diabolical, and from what I remember of future episodes, that impression isn’t going anywhere.)
The rest of the episode is predictable. Lt. Von Redshirt? He gets shot. Picard? He outsmarts the imaginary friends and passes his grammar test. The program is stuffed to the brim with stupidly stereotypical characters (my notes refer to them as Capo Gruff, Heinrich Stereotype, and Budget Henchman). Data wears a suit and fedora on the bridge, in which, in all fairness, he looks awesome. Wesley knows everything because he actually read the holodeck’s instruction manual rather than throwing it away.
"The Big Goodbye" isn’t bad. It’s also not really that interesting. But, it does introduce us to the fact that the holodecks are death traps waiting to create supervillains and murder crewmen, so at least we’ve got that.
Some random thoughts:
- When are we going to fire the costume designer that keeps dressing aliens like they’re in a low budget porno? Wyatt’s dream girl looks like a backup dancer for Whitesnake. It’s really bad.
- Armin Shimmerman, who will go on to play Quark in DS9, is back again, this time as a talking chest of jewels. Seriously.
- Wyatt Miller is played by Robert Knepper, who played T-Bag Bagwell in the show Prison Break. Funny, once you see someone as a psychotic racist pedophile, it’s tough to see them in any other role.
- I discussed my confusion about Picard being so ridiculously impressed by the holodeck with my fellow Trekkie friend Juliette Vincent, and she pointed out that it was probably pretty new technology. But when researching the episode, I found out the Star Trek: The Animated Series featured holodecks years before, which means they’re established technology by this point. Yeah, that scene makes no sense.
Next time, we look at "DataLore" and "Angel One". I only vaguely remember "DataLore", and every time I try to remember "Angel One", I black out and wake up in the bathroom of a Denny's.
- Dietrich Stogner
The holodeck has been featured on some earlier episodes, but so far, it’s been limited to a creek for Wesley to fall into, and a martial arts training partner for Yar to throw around. "The Big Goodbye" is the first time that we’ve seen walking, talking people created by the holodeck, and it really did strike me on this viewing how oddly creepy that concept is. With the press of a button, you create a person that can talk to you, interact with you, and seems sentient in every way. With the next press of a button, you consign them to oblivion. Near the end of an episode, a holodeck creation asks Picard, “Will I still exist when you leave?” Argue all you want about whether they would qualify as alive, but if someone is asking you an existential question like that, it’s worth taking a moment to consider before smacking that off switch.
Picard is stressed, people. He’s got to study for an upcoming grammar quiz with a race called the Jaradan, and if he makes a single mistake, they’ll… do something? (It’s never made clear, although there’s a hint that the last ship that fucked up a dangling participle with the Jaradan got destroyed. Seems a bit harsh.) Troi tells him he needs a break, so it’s off to the magic wish room to play dress-up and pretend to be a character from a Raymond Chandler knockoff. He’s only there for a few minutes the first time, but he’s so wowed by the holodeck, that he actually calls a full briefing of the senior staff to rave about it. He can’t wait to get back (don’t you have studying to do, Captain?), and this time, he’s bringing Beverly, Data, and Lt. Von Redshirt, the ship’s 20th century history specialist, because of course the Enterprise has one of those.
Things are suitably wacky (oh, weren’t humans QUAINT), and everyone’s having a ball, but the Jaradan grammar Nazis show up and ruin everything. They scan the ship, and this causes the holodeck to malfunction. The door won’t open, they can’t turn it off, the safety features are disabled, and Wesley says that if he clips the wrong wire, everyone in the holodeck will die. (I have to take a moment to express how ridiculously dumb this is based on any logical scenario. Also, did the 24th century forget about circuit breakers? Just cut the power to the stupid thing. I’m beginning to think the designer of the holodeck was either stunningly incompetent or psychotically diabolical, and from what I remember of future episodes, that impression isn’t going anywhere.)
The rest of the episode is predictable. Lt. Von Redshirt? He gets shot. Picard? He outsmarts the imaginary friends and passes his grammar test. The program is stuffed to the brim with stupidly stereotypical characters (my notes refer to them as Capo Gruff, Heinrich Stereotype, and Budget Henchman). Data wears a suit and fedora on the bridge, in which, in all fairness, he looks awesome. Wesley knows everything because he actually read the holodeck’s instruction manual rather than throwing it away.
"The Big Goodbye" isn’t bad. It’s also not really that interesting. But, it does introduce us to the fact that the holodecks are death traps waiting to create supervillains and murder crewmen, so at least we’ve got that.
Some random thoughts:
- When are we going to fire the costume designer that keeps dressing aliens like they’re in a low budget porno? Wyatt’s dream girl looks like a backup dancer for Whitesnake. It’s really bad.
- Armin Shimmerman, who will go on to play Quark in DS9, is back again, this time as a talking chest of jewels. Seriously.
- Wyatt Miller is played by Robert Knepper, who played T-Bag Bagwell in the show Prison Break. Funny, once you see someone as a psychotic racist pedophile, it’s tough to see them in any other role.
- I discussed my confusion about Picard being so ridiculously impressed by the holodeck with my fellow Trekkie friend Juliette Vincent, and she pointed out that it was probably pretty new technology. But when researching the episode, I found out the Star Trek: The Animated Series featured holodecks years before, which means they’re established technology by this point. Yeah, that scene makes no sense.
Next time, we look at "DataLore" and "Angel One". I only vaguely remember "DataLore", and every time I try to remember "Angel One", I black out and wake up in the bathroom of a Denny's.
- Dietrich Stogner
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